Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
