he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
