I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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