Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
