So drunk, too bad you don't want this
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
