big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
