Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
