You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
