At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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