If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize