I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
