at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
