Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
