the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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