Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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