Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
