so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
wow bdsm is so cute
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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