We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
