my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
