Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
its liver damage thursday
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
