my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
