i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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