i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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