do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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