Someone shit on the floor
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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