It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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