The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
