I wannas sexs uuuuu
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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