Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
