1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
