First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
