Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize