I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
