i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
