how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
