Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
