You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
