Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
