you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
