how can u be prego again
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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