IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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