WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
