I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So many bounce houses so little time
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
