My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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