we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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