I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
