Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
