I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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