So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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