I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
