What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize