Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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