Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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