the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
