This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
