Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
