Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
