Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
