I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
