So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
