Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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