Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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