I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
