'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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