either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
