I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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