What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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