it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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