he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
