found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
