Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
