"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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